Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Talking About Goal Setting

Rachel springs a discussion about goal setting !

Prosperity Sisters we welcome you ! This is Rachel Lim Shuling and I'm springing a surprise interview on my sister, Sueyan Lim Shuyan because I want to talk to her, have a discussion with her about goal setting.

R: Sueyan, what do you think about goal setting? How do you feel about goal setting?
S: I feel that goal setting is frightening, because in the past it used to be so easy, like in school, you know what you're working for, and then now, when it is very clear in your mind, you know what you're working for, like an exam, you know there's this goal that you want to do well in this exam, then it's very clear cut. But then in a way, when you are the one setting the test and you are the one setting the goal for the test, then it's like my mind goes “aaah... what goal should I set?”. Guess it doesn't sound very well thought.
R: So for me, the reason why I brought it up is cos I kinda have an opinion about goal setting. That I feel, in fact throughout my life goal setting hasn't worked. It's something that you know adults say you do and it's supposed to be very effective, and important for you to set a date and everything. But I find that the wonderful, amazing things that I've manifested in my life, like a holiday or my dream bed, my wonderful romantic love relationship, or even my family's relationship, all these things is not that I set a goal and demand that this happen by a certain date. Or even say about rearranging the house and making it look nicer. It's not like say I set a certain date and I want it to happen. So like this whole goal setting is very pressurizing and I'm not even convinced that it really works.
S: So why are you asking me about goal setting?
R: Because I feel confused. Like when I read books about success, or books about successful people. They will always emphasize this thing about goal setting.
S: Honestly, I haven't used goal setting for a long time already. Because, I feel that it doesn't really benefit me. I feel too stressed when I try to set a goal. I feel that, I'm not sure if it's the best way but then, or maybe some people might say that I'm not aiming for the best or not reaching high enough, but then I think throughout my university life, that more like I do my best and then what I get, is what I get. And that is pretty good, and I don't aim to be like you know on the dean's list, or the top scorer. Then I still feel that it works out fine for me, that I feel very comfortable with it. And I might not be the highest achiever among all my friends, but probably that's not what I want. I want to like have more balance in other things as well. And I guess some people feel that, you know you have to, like what's the degree of the goal you are setting, you know what I mean. Like some people think of goal setting like you have to set like a super goal, like I must be number one, or I must make a million dollars. Like you know it becomes such a one dimensional focus. Like it has to be on this one thing. And yet, like to me I aim to be more of a all rounder. Maybe I don't aim to be like the number one, but at least I have a successful, you know I have my family, my social, I have career. You know what I mean, be more balanced.
R: Yah, I feel for me also, being happy is important, like more important that your goals in a way. Cos ultimately the reason why you want to have your goal is so you can feel better about yourself, so to feel happy. So in a way it's like, sometimes, it's like the personal experience. The goal setting actually makes me unhappy. So I'm doing my best to make myself happy by being unhappy, so why not I just choose to be happy then. And if goal setting is making me unhappy then perhaps it's the goal setting that needs to be released from my life.
S: I feel that goal setting is about a sense of accomplishment, that you feel satisfied, like “Yes I achieved it” and maybe it terms of goal setting, I use it more smaller scale of like small tasks, rather than like you know 5 year goal or 10 year goal. That kind of goal thing. So I wouldn't say that goal setting is not useful at all that nobody should set any goals. But it can be used in a more simple, moderate usage.
R: So some people may think that we are not go-getters or anything. Like, we're not the kind of people that they are, or that they would prefer us to be. For example, especially when you meet sales, like if you are doing sales and you have a sales manager. Your sales manager will want you to do well. In fact they will, need you to hit a certain target. So it feels like they will pressure, I felt that was what was happening to me, that they were pressuring me to be somebody that they desire me to be. And not honoring and respecting that I am different from who they are or who they want me to be. That I'm not cut out from a book or something. The ideal sales person for the company. Anything else to add sister?
S: I guess there's this conflict of what other people want of you and what you want. And then being able to find that balance.
R: Or like transcend it, to figure out who you truly are and what really works for you. And not, like what other people say is supposed to work and you just agree with them blindly. That's something that we keep learning, we've been learning for some time now. Maybe, it's something that you start learning in your twenties. Well, the reason we are sharing this is that we think that maybe some of you are going through this challenge as well. So just sharing this with you to let you know that we feel this way too. So lighten up, love yourself, be easy on yourself, be good to yourself.

See you again soon :)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

How To Deal With A Passive Aggressive Younger Sister

How To Deal With A Passive Aggressive Younger Sister

Earlier, I said to Sueyan : "So, are we meeting tomorrow morning to work?" She said okay. But I sensed her anger about something. I wondered whether I'd said something wrong or she was feeling angry because I'd not appreciated her for spending a few hours creating, editing and uploading YouTube videos today... So I said to her : "You seem angry about something. What's going on?" And she kept quiet.

She was being a passive aggressive younger sister again.

Frankly, I feel at a loss when my younger sister behaves passive aggressively... 

I find myself not knowing what to do or say. Sometimes, it feels like I'm walking on eggshells. It feels like she's a ticking time bomb - ready to explode at any time. And it scares me.

So, pacing around my room, I asked myself the question : What do I do about a passive aggressive younger sister?

Here are the answers that came to me :
  1. Remember that you are not responsible for your younger sister's feelings.
  2. Answer the question : What is it that I prefer?
  3. Send her a text message to appreciate her. It works for your boyfriend. Maybe it'll work for her too...
It seems like three simple ideas but they are very powerful! They worked! After sending her a text message, she replied :

"You're welcome. Good job cutting the sections :) I love you. Sorry that I don't feel like talking. Sorting out my inner stuff."

I felt relieved after receiving her message.

Now that I knew the reason for her passive aggressive behaviour, I can put my mind at ease instead of wondering about our relationship for the rest of the night.

In addition, knowing that she was struggling with her own inner challenges, I knew what to do next. I can give her my love, encouragement and support. So I sent her another text message saying :

"Thank you for letting me know. I know you'll feel better soon. Hugs."

To clarify, here's my first text message to Sueyan :

"Thank you for creating and uploading the videos, business partner. I love you."

The reason I'm sharing with you our text messages, is so you can have a better idea of exactly what words you can say, write, text, or email your passive aggressive younger sister. I know too well how hard it is to communicate love and compassion for your younger sister when you don't know what to say.

So, to simplify it for you, say "Thank you for ..., Sister. I love you."

When your younger sister is being passive aggressive, don't push her to tell you what she's thinking.  Give her time and space. That's what she needs right now. But let her know that you are here for her if she needs to talk. If she trusts you enough to reach out and open up to you, please keep quiet and LISTEN.

Listening carefully and quietly to your passive aggressive younger sister without reacting is the best gift you can give to her.

I'm sharing this from personal experience.

In the past, I would jump in and give my advice instead of listening to my sister share her thoughts and feelings.

It was a big mistake!

I say this, because after a while, she stopped trusting me.

Each time she shared her feelings, I would cut her off before she was done by giving her my advice. This made her feel bad. It became a negative experience for her. And it became harder and harder for her to reach out to me. After all, who wants to do something that makes them feel bad?

Of course it would have been easier for the both of us if she just said : "Sister, I need you to keep quiet and listen to me. I don't need your advice. Can you please keep quiet and listen to me?"

But there's no use pushing the blame onto your younger sister. If she could say it, she would. I choose to take responsibility and do what I can to improve our relationship. What do you choose?

If by keeping quiet while letting her talk is what it takes, then I am going to do my best to do it. It's what I need to do, so she can trust me again. Maybe, eventually, she will learn how to tell me to keep quiet. But in the meantime, I'm going to remember the three things I did today the next time she behaves passive aggressively towards me again...
  1. Remember that you are not responsible for your younger sister's feelings.
  2. Answer the question : What is it that I prefer?
  3. Send her a text message to say "Thank you. I appreciate you. I love you." 
I hope this method works for you too. Let me know.


Sunday, November 27, 2011

How To Resolve Conflict With Your Sister And Have A Better Relationship With Your Sister

How To Resolve Conflict With Your Sister And Have A Better Relationship With Your Sister

Prosperity Sisters, We Welcome You!

I'm Rachel Lim Shuling, and I'm Sueyan Lim Shuyan. And today, we're going to be talking about how to have a better relationship with your sister.

Yes. Our intention for creating this program is to help other sisters to have an even better relationship. So we'll start by talking about the problems that we faced recently in our sister relationship...

So, one of the problems that we faced is because when we start to do business together, then it becomes a bit blurry. Like when is it your business partner, and when is it your sister? And what happens to the dynamic of the relationship? And it all becomes a problem...

For me, I was also dealing my own confusion about the business and myself. And then Sueyan also started to shut down. She didn't want to communicate with me. So these were some of the problems we were facing.

It became a crisis!

So we can share with you the event that made a change... a point where there was a breakthrough (at the soyabean shop).

I think we had the breakthrough when I told my sister about some of the resentment I had inside. And how it's impacting and affecting our relationship and our business relationship as well. And because suddenly now that things are being said, then things can be changed and can be solved.

What resentments did Sueyan have?

You felt I wasn't listening to your input... that I was pushing aside your input...

Yes. I felt that my opinions are not being heard. Usually, I have few opinions. And sometimes when I do speak up for what I think, then Rachel will say things that make me feel like "Oh, her idea is better..." or I feel she doesn't appreciate the input that I put in. I felt my ideas were immediately being shut down."

But I also know that it's not entirely her fault... which is very confusing because of what's going on in your own mind, how you're behaving, and you don't know what to do about it... So, I do understand that it's partly to do with my own reaction towards the things that she says, and not just because of what she's saying...

What did Sueyan do before the breakthrough occurred?

You went for the breakthrough session with Robert...

Before our conversation in the soya bean shop, I actually knew that there's a problem and I know that I want to feel better about it. And yet, there was this nagging feeling, nagging voice in my head that says to speak up. Speak up and say what you feel as you feel it. But yet I don't really feel safe or comfortable to express what I'm feeling.

And I had this thought : If you have nothing good to say, then don't say it. And usually, when you have not a very good response from people... maybe that's the programming that I've had... like not to say anything negative (ya! I used to have that a lot!)

So, after I went for this breakthrough session, which is to breakthrough about people or events in your life, I did a breakthrough on my sister. And it made me feel even more... it confirmed that thought in my mind that I need to speak out, instead of keeping it inside because doing the same thing over, will just create the same result. So, I need to do something different in order to get a different result.

Deeper description of what do you do specifically during that breakthrough session?

During a breakthrough session, we will pick a person or an event in your life that is bothering you - consciously or subconsciously. So I picked my sister. And what we will do is we will list down all the positive and negative traits about the person. And see where we ourselves exhibit these traits. The objective is to see that in any person or any situation, there is always good and bad. But sometimes because your mind is so fixated on how bad something/someone is, you don't see the positive in the relationship.

Of course it's things that I know. But somehow, the dynamics of the group makes it easier to actually know for sure that there is good and bad.

For 30 minutes,

Step 1. Choose a person or situation that is bothering you.
Step 2. List down all the good and bad traits of the person or situation. How would you describe this person? Like very pretty, annoying, angry, or this person is irresponsible. Any trait you can think of this person, you can list them all down.
Step 3. See how you also have these traits.

For example, if the trait you really dislike about the person is... "Oh, she's very selfish." Then you have to write down a letter representing instances where you are also selfish. For example: you are selfish when it comes to your drink. So you write a 'D'. You feel that you are selfish when it comes to your room, you write an 'R". You are selfish when it comes to taking the bus and you want to sit down, you write a 'B'. And you write down all these instances where you are also selfish. And you can see that what you dislike in the other person, you have those qualities as well.

If you find it very hard to express, then you can only list about 5 or 10 traits. But if you really concentrate and think about it, you can list down about 20, 30 or 50 traits even.

But the most I'd reach, in identifying the same traits in myself is 15.

Another part of the breakthrough is, we pick someone from the group, who exhibits similar energy to the person you are breaking through on. Then you do a role play to pretend you are talking to that person, and that person is talking to you.

This takes about 15 minutes.

So I picked someone in the group whom I thought to be quite similar to Rachel, and then she would pretend to be Rachel and say what she thinks Rachel would be saying to me, or what she feels like saying. How she would respond to this.

So we would start by telling the 'acting person' what you would like to say. So for example, I would tell the 'acting Rachel' what I want to tell her, that maybe I wouldn't dare to tell her in person. Or something I may want to say, but not actually want to tell her to her face.

Then the lady who is pretending to be Rachel will respond to me, based on what I have told her. And we'll start to have little conversation.

Towards the end, we'll imagine that the person is going to die in the next minute. So this person is going to leave your life. So what are you going to say to this person?

That seems very powerful. To imagine that this person is leaving your life.

So the aim is, when the person is about to die, of course you want to show some appreciation or that you love him/her. Or you want to thank this person. Even though it seems like this person has hurt you a lot.

 So you do your best to express what you want to say, but you didn't dare to say before. Hear the response from the other person. Have a conversation. Then at the end, imagine that this person is going to die or leave your life. So this situation kind of helps you express gratitude for this person?

But what if this person is about to leave your life, and you still very angry? Then it causes you to say more things that you weren't able to say before?

There is a facilitator during this session. So this facilitator will help you to show feelings of gratitude or appreciation to this person who is leaving your life. And if you are closing your heart, and not willing to forgive this person, the facilitator will keep trying to push you to open your heart. To show love for all the experiences you've had with this person.

So am I right to say, that the intention of the whole breakthrough exercise is to help you to come to a point where you can forgive the person who you feel bothers you?

I think it's more accurate to say it's to help you open your heart, to not hold the grudge any more. To let go of these thoughts or memories that are hurting you.

So I felt the work that you did "by yourself" really helped our relationship. Because before that, you were not willing to talk to me. You were not willing to tell me what's going on. You just have a passive aggressive behavior towards me. I didn't know whether to ask you.

I guess that's more like the pattern : to keep quiet if I have nothing good to say.

I also feel that if I have all these resentful feelings, and I don't know what to do, I would rather try to solve them on my own. Create some distance between us. Maybe when my resentful feelings are resolved, and I feel better, then the dynamic can become better.

I'm also not sure if it's the best way to solving problems. Because in our relationship we are two quite different types of people. Rachel is the outspoken one. She will speak up. I will feel attacked when she's very opinionated. I would rather keep quiet and not say anything. So even though we are very close, we have very different personalities and how do we come together and resolve these issues?

And it becomes harder, or more important. Because it's your sister.

When it comes to friends, you can choose a friend who you can click with, has the same personality as you. And when you meet conflict, you can just not be friends any more. But when it's your sister, you could disown her. But I would prefer not to.

So I find it much easier to avoid each other. Try not to talk to her. But then it's not exactly the best solution either.

In fact, we both went through it. I did my best to leave her alone. But, it wasn't solving anything! It was just a stalemate! We were in a rut... It was very uncomfortable and it affected our business a lot as well.

For me, I was feeling very frustrated. Because our business wasn't moving forward. And I was doing my best to do my own inner work - by reading a lot of books and doing journalling. Asking a lot of questions... hoping that the answers will come out.

So I read this book, and it talked about synergy in a relationship. So I realized I'd been putting our business first, and my relationship with my sister second. And since the business was formed on the basis of our relationship, the business was reflecting the state of our relationship! Our relationship was in a very bad place, and so our business was also in a very bad place.

So, if I wanted our business to do well, I needed to refocus my energy and focus on what is important. Because the most important thing you have in life is your relationship. Whether it's your relationship with an object or with your sister.

The desire is important. For example, I have the desire to work it out. And Sueyan has the desire to work it out. That's why we are now starting to improve our relationship. It's an ongoing process. It's not today we've found a solution, and forever our relationship is awesome!

If that were really true, this wouldn't have happened. Our relationship was already awesome to begin with! So problems will occur. And it's either you use a method that's worked for you before, or you find a new way to solve your problems.

And I feel what Sueyan said, the process of claiming within yourself, the qualities of the other person... That process has worked for me as well. When I felt angry at someone, and I really calm myself down, focus and think about where I am also exhibiting these qualities, then I am also able to open my heart and forgive the person. And accept the person for who she is, rather than who I hope or desire her to be.

I feel the breakthrough occurred for me when I went "Heck! Better just say whatever I really feel inside."

So we went back to our childhood. And I think because we're sisters, so the things that have happened in the past sort of subconsciously scar you. And I had these memories, but I didn't think that they affected me a lot. Like memories from 3 years old, 5 years old, 7 years old... Yes. even at 14.

And now when you are doing things with Mattin. And I felt like you would abandon our projects together. Which makes me feel like I don't have the faith to be in this project with you... because what if you abandon me again, and stuff...

And it's these things in the past that affect you. But you don't realize. And they may actually slowly creep up.

So, what we are saying is, our recommendation is to do subconscious work. We do a lot of our own subconscious work. Through releasing. Even breakthrough is a form of subconscious work. And even journalling is a form of subconscious work. Because these activities help you to access things that you don't usually think about.

So what we're saying is, one way to have a better relationship with your sister, is to work on your own subconscious. Subconscious thoughts, feelings and problems. Things that have been bottled up in the past for long, and they're still affecting your relationship today.

Another solution is to have the courage to speak up what you're feeling. If the person makes you feel shitty... even if you know it isn't her fault. But at least if you say it out, then you can start to feel better about it. And maybe there doesn't need to be any solution when you are just expressing how you are feeling.

And a lot of it has to do with listening. Listening to what the other person has to say. And not just want to offer a solution to your problem.

And when Sueyan went for her breakthrough, I asked her : What really worked? What really helped? What did the other person say? And she said the other person just kept quiet. Didn't say anything. And Sueyan somehow felt that it helped. So I take responsibility and tell myself that in future, I do my best to keep quiet and just listen to her.

I think it's just the dynamics between any older and younger person. Because Rachel is seven years older. She's had a lot more experience and read a lot of books. It's something similar to your parents. Their intention is to try and help you feel better. But maybe I'm 22 and going through another rebellious phase... I don't want other people to tell me what to do and how to solve my problems. Maybe we are all just wanting to figure out our own path and solve our own stuff. It's through experiences, right?

On the other side of the fence, when Sueyan doesn't speak up, I don't know what's going on with her.  And if she gives me feedback, at least I can do something about it. But when I don't even know what I'm doing wrong. What is it I'm doing that's pushing her buttons, I'm at a loss. Because I'm just being myself. Doing what I always do. I didn't change. I didn't suddenly start speaking differently.

To have the courage to be true to yourself. If that's how you feel, then just own it. Say this is how I feel. You're just expressing how you really feel. As opposed to "I shouldn't feel this way". And that's why I didn't talk to her for some time too. I stayed away because I was afraid of how she would react if I asked her : "Sueyan, what's the problem?". I was afraid I'd come across as antagonistic. I didn't know what the solution was either. So I was afraid to approach her.

It was only when it reached a point where I knew that ignoring the issue is not solving anything... I have to say something. At least if I say something, and we can get it out, then something can change.

I also think it's got to do with 'People don't know what they want. But they know what they don't want.' You offer them something that they don't want and they may go "ee" or "I don't want that", but they may not be able to tell you what they want. Sometimes, you like to ask me the question : What do you want instead. And sometimes I'm not really sure if you do something different, would it really be better? At the same time, I'm aware that whatever it is that's causing me to feel yucky, has nothing to do with you. It's just me. What do I see that I don't like?

I don't know the answer. What would be better? What would I want? I also cannot offer an answer yet.

I think what Sueyan means is that it requires patience. Not expecting that it will be immediately solved. I think that's what I was doing when I asked her : What do you want instead? I'm hoping that we can put our attention on the solution, rather than the problem. And thus work towards a solution instead.

I suddenly remembered one more thing that Sueyan and I did when we had conflict... we prayed. We prayed a lot. Because it was such a big problem in our lives. At night, I would get out of bed, kneel on the floor, stare at the sky and pray. I would say "Dear God / Universe/ Whoever, please help this whole thing to get better. Please help me let the whole thing just get better. Please take this problem away."

For me too. Before sleeping, I would lie in my bed and ask for help. "Please help me to feel better. Help me to do something. Give me some inspiration on how this thing can become better." Every night, keep asking and keep praying.

I think we were too fervent. And that kept the answer away. I was too focused on the problem and not relaxed. At that point, I didn't feel sure yet that this whole thing was going to be resolved. It was as if I was in this place and it was "Oh my god. It's the end of the world. I'm totally helpless. I'm totally desperate." And I think that kept the solution away for awhile as well.

It's only when you start to relax a bit. Not look at the problems for awhile. Maybe do something else. Read a book. Go out. Eat something. Then things started to get better.

For me, in my mind it was : "Why is this happening to us? Why is this happening to me? We had a very good relationship and why now or how did it lead to this? Really, how did this even start and when did this even start to get worse?" To me, if I can figure out why it started, then I can solve it. Like if I know the thing that caused the problem, then I can get the solution to counter the cause. I think that kept the solution away.

But I think having a relationship with somebody is still an ongoing process. Cannot be complacent. Even if it's your family. You really still need to put the time, effort and energy to make the other person feel safe. To find a way to give the other person what they need. And even if you spend a lot of time together, it doesn't mean your relationship is building and growing stronger.

Yes. Every minute you spend together, you could be destroying it. So it's a choice. You need to make a choice whether you're going to build it, destroy it or maintain it.

One more thing that might be useful to listeners, is that we got really emotional. We both cried in the soya bean shop. Because we both realized we are not alone in this at all. Whatever I was struggling with, she was also struggling with. And then we realized how close we are. How much we really love each other.

It made us realize we are both going through the same thing, only in a different form. Maybe because of different personalities. But at the root of it, we are facing the same challenges.

And that we both also desire the same thing.

The further we are away from each other, the closer we are.

And then we can laugh and cry about it.

To summarize, we can say where our relationship is now. So Sueyan, how do you feel our relationship is like now?

I feel it's a bit better. And I've come to more understanding of how to see her as my sister. And because of our work. I think I've become clearer in my mind about our relationship. As compared to being very confused and jumbled up.

I think I've become more able to accept my feelings.

But I do still feel that it's slowly getting better.

How about you? How do you feel our relationship has become better?

I feel there is progress. As long as Sueyan is willing to talk to me. As long as we are willing to be honest with each other. And even be willing to work on this program together.

In a way, I feel grateful to it. Because it's like our old relationship has broken down. And we are creating a new and even better relationship. And it's also opening me up to learn more things also. Keep reminding me to be a better listener. Be a better communicator. And these questions like : What does it take to grow a business with your sister? Or how do you grow your relationship as business partners? I think all these new questions that are arising from the breakdown, I feel grateful to it. Because this way, I know my life is growing. I'm getting better.

For me, I start to appreciate the challenges that I'm going through can have good in it. Previously, I was struggling to see the good out of this situation. But I think if through this, we can help other people, then it's very good. And I also feel that I am growing as a person. Having to face disagreement and locked up resentful feelings that are coming out - waiting to be released and transmuted.

So that's where we are now. We are still regrowing our relationship. It's like nature. You have to plant the seed again. Our relationship grew into such a good point that we chose to go into business together. But then we plucked the fruit and now we have to replant the seed and regrow our relationship. I'm sure it'll grow and once again start to flower and fruit. And then probably something else will happen. But it's ok. Because by then, we will have more tools to work together.

You can follow our story on We'll continue to update our story there. We invite you to join us and maybe share your story as well. Thank you for listening. We'll talk to you again soon. Bye! We love you!

I love you sister. I love you sister. We did well. We did it.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Play Acting Interview with Rachel Lim Shuling co-author of 'I am divine, so are you'

Today we want to talk a bit about your new book called 'I am divine so are you'. What would you like to, If you could just summarise, what would you share with us about it

This book, I am divine so are you, my sister and I co-wrote it. We just want to share our journey of how we came about to understand we are divine. And, you know it really, It comes from our heart as a message, a message from the divine, through us, through you to everyone who reads this book. That you know we are all actually divine beings, you know the more we remember that, the better the world becomes. Yes, so I would say that that is the summary of what our book is about, we share that journey, it is a very human journey. A divine being having a human experience yah and we hope that by sharing our journey, then everybody out there who reads it, they get to also accept more of their own journey, to not judge their journey as being bad, or wrong or too tough or too difficult, there's no such thing. We just want to share with people the real honest truth of what being a divine being means. It's not about like you know sitting in a cave and meditating all day long and not seeing anybody at all and just never having any challenges as all. You're totally enlightened and you have no more problems ! It's not like that at all. That's what we're really sharing.

I guess you mean that after going through on this journey, your life has definitely changed. So could you share with our listeners, like maybe in one way that your journey has become even better and your circumstances have become improved after this journey.

I would say, before we embarked on this journey, that we were very lost. As to who we are, in fact we kept looking for outside advice, you know help from outside to affirm what we knew within. You know, we didn't trust who we were, we didn't trust our own wisdom. And so that journey of discovering that we are divine, helped us actually to instead of continuously looking outside for help, to look within for the help. And that's a lot more powerful and I'm sure everybody will discover that it is so much more powerful to find the wisdom from within or even to ask questions and allow divine to bring the answers to you. You don't necessarily need to feel that you are powerless or helpless, there is always help available to you. So I would say that we moved from a point of feeling that we didn't know what to do, and we were so helpless and we had no idea where to take our business. And then we stumbled, in a way stumbled or in a way really were asking so loudly to divine 'what can we do' or 'how, what would it take for our business to flourish and grow and become even more prosperous' and this is the guidance we received. Write a book, called 'I am divine so are you'. And so that is precisely how our life has improved, how our business has improved. Everything has become so much easier, it's all become so divine, you know like we just meet people along the way who are like excited to help us, and like excited about our message, sometimes even more excited than us about our message. So we find ourselves receiving help all along the way, we don't have to it by ourselves anymore and that's opened up an entire new world for us.

Thank you Rachel, and previously you mentioned about life still, you know has its ups and downs, has its challenges, so could you also share with our listeners one of the challenges you had throughout this journey.

I think like one of the challenges, OK one of the challenges we had was, you know my sister and I, we found that running a business, two people running a business, is a huge challenge, you know, when you're by yourself, it's easier to make decisions, because there's only one person involved. And then there's like there's two minds, and it's all so confusing. So that's one of the challenges we faced and the breakthrough really occurred when we thought out of the box, when we really accepted divine help instead of like trying to use our minds to solve something. We like gave up, we surrendered, like oh my gosh we can't do this by ourselves, we need help, oh my gosh divine help us. You know, and that's the thing, like that was one of the really breakthrough challenges that we had.

So I hear that you had challenges in coming to working together, and how did you use divine energy to make things easier?

I think we both, you know prayed ,very hard, individually we prayed and we came together and we prayed. We set intentions, we ask each other questions, we did our best to be as vulnerable as possible, as honest as possible. It was not easy, it was really really tough, you know, but umm, so that was what we did.

Ok, thank you. So lets talk a bit more about how everyone can use divine energy and to acknowledge themselves and recognise that they are too infinite beings.

From my experience, it starts with practice, you know like I think most of us, I don't know if all of us, but I think alot of us, we're not born and brought up in a way that says 'ok . that you know today its time to meditate and connect with the divine'. You know, ok while maybe i'm speaking because I come from a relatively non-religious family, we don't have those type of practices. But yah I think it starts from there, you set the intention, you desire to connect more with the divine, and then you do your best to make space, make time for that to happen. You know, for me it always happened, it always started when I was alone, in my bedroom at night and you know I would Ok, instead of reading a book, instead of surfing the internet, instead of watching a video, you know, like be quiet, and make space and time for the divine to really connect. Really listen. And I think especially in the beginning for me, I had to write. You know, I couldn't just trust what I was hearing. I needed to write it down to see for myself that 'oh so this is what the divine is saying'. And to really like re-read what I wrote, to be able to accept that this seems to be not me, it seems to be like a greater wisdom to this. Like the things I was writing was not something I would normally say at all. So where does this come from? Along the way, as you learn more and more, you come to realize that it was the divine speaking.

So is that what you would encourage people to do? To start with prayer, and to start getting in touch with divine and to start having a conversation to find out more about how, about what the divine has in store for them?

Yes. I think start with prayer. Ask. Specifically ask, say 'Divine. Please help me.' 'Please, I would like to connect with you. Please show me a way to connect with you.' And I believe like you know your listeners here today, the reason why they even come to this, is because they have already asked. You know, they're just finding a way to get connected even more, even more even more. And so I will say, take it the next step , you know like write, or sing or, you know, I think everybody comes to understand, to connect with the divine in a very unique and special way. Some people may dance, some people may sing, it really could be anything. It could even be like washing the dishes, or hanging the clothes. I find that sometimes I do connect with the divine by hanging the laundry, or just taking a walk in nature, I think that really helps a lot. I don't entirely understand why, but it always works.

So, I'm hearing that maybe you have to do some activities that can clear your mind, and help you to be more open rather than be busy, you know rushing to and fro from something. Is that correct?

Exactly. You've really hit it on the nail. Like it's to slow down your life, don't, I think a lot of times we use busy-ness to prevent ourselves from connecting with the divine. Like as if we are afraid to have a connection with the divine. We're so programmed not to do that, we're so programmed to rely on ourselves. So yah slowing down and opening up a space to allow the divine to connect to you and for you to connect to the divine, communicate like talk, have a conversation, ask all the questions you've ever wanted to ask. Like you know 'why am I here? Tell me why' like 'what is the purpose in all of this?'. Having, opening up that conversation. I think like for me, it's like the divine has been the best friend I've ever had. Like it never lets me down. I always have somebody to talk to because I connect with the divine.

Ok thank you. And maybe could you share with us some of the different chapters you have inside the book like roughly what do you share on this journey, or do you have some tips that you can share about getting connected and how to make it more personal about on your personal journey. Helping our listeners you know make this divine being journey more personal for them.

So like one of the things that we share in our book, is to use the mirror work. You know, because you are divine, you know that's what divine looks like. When you look in the mirror, that's what divinity looks like, that person staring back at you in the mirror, that's divinity. So that's one thing we share, you know, to use mirror work, When you look in the mirror, look deep in your eyes, and say 'I love you'. 'I love you I love you I love you I really love you'. And this exercise you know when I first did this exercise, I felt really uncomfortable, so uncomfortable, and after that, doing it again, I cried and cried and cried and cried. It somehow was like a recognition, you know, like a longing and a waiting for someone to affirm that they loved me. And in the past, I went looking for it somewhere else, when actually I was always waiting for me to give it to myself. So it's really the divine giving love to the divine. And that's kind of like the best way, use the mirror and there you are staring at the divine and then speak to the divine, like that. And start with 'I love you' because that brings down so many barriers. If everybody met and the first thing they said to each other was 'I love you', like imagine what the world would be like. Like if you got into a car crash and the first thing you come out, you said 'I love you'. I mean that would like shock people and it would be harder for people to argue.

Wow I love that and we all love when somebody else says 'I love you' and we can all do with telling it to ourselves more often and not have to wait for somebody else to tell us and we can actually tell it to ourselves and receive even much more gratification from that.

And I think that it also starts from there. Like first you start telling yourself that you love yourself and it makes it easier for you to start telling other people 'I love you' as well. Either you start telling other people you love them first, or you start telling yourself that you love yourself first. But I really invite and encourage everybody who has never done that before, to look in the mirror and say 'I love you' to yourself. If you've never done it then, you must do it, it's an experience that you know I really, I hope for everyone to have. Cos that experience is so divine. So divine, well you have to do it. Don't die and not do this. Don't die and not look at yourself, look into your own eyes and say 'I love you' to yourself.

So I hear that divine energy comes both from outside yourself in a higher wisdom and also comes yourself, om within, is that what you are saying?

Yes. In fact, there's this saying that I like which is that 'the best place to see God is in everything and everyone'. So when you start to recognize and allow yourself to welcome that truth into your life, then you start to begin to see everyone as being divine, start to see every event and circumstance as divine, and you know your life really becomes transformed. Every moment becomes so blessed and so gifted. You know for me sometimes I don't even know what to do with it, I just feel like crying because iI'm so grateful for the life that I have. Everything that everybody does, even if my father were to say a harsh word to me, I feel that that is so divine, And you know some people may think that's insane, somebody is being mean to you, but to me I don't see that at all. I just see it as oh my gosh this is the divine speaking to the divine and how does it get even better than this?

Mm I see. Wow. To see yourself as not only being connected to divine energy but to really know that the divine energy also radiates from within.

Yah. And you know from within everyone. You see the divine in the other person. Even your enemy, when you start to do that, your life really transforms, you become so gifted. And so blessed that life is such a gift. You feel so blessed for every moment. And that's really the feeling of being connected and in communion with the divine cos that's exactly how the divine feels. The divine feels so grateful for everything that is happening, occurring, every moment.

Ah ok so we're running out of time, so Rachel could you please give us some last few words you would like to share about your book 'I am divine. So are you'.

Okay, so umm in this book 'I am divine, so are you', we share with you what we have come to understand about what being divine means. So if you don't understand what it means to be divine, and you are looking to be more in divine in your life, and how you can be even more loving towards yourself and towards the other people in your life, then I highly highly encourage and invite you to take a look at our book and share part of our journey, part of our story and like allow it to also become part of your story cos we are really excited about our lives. We feel so excited, so blessed and we just know anybody who reads this, who invites this into their life is also inviting the divine into their lives. So we're very excited.

Ok. Thank you Rachel, and so that brings us roughly to the end of our conversation. You can find out more about Rachel and their book at their website at and you can also check out her blog as well as send her emails and get in touch.

Play Acting Being Interviewed About Our Book

Sueyan and I have been asking the question : What can we do to help our business grow ?
The answer we received is to write a book called "I Am Divine, So Are You!"

Since we didn't know how else to start, we asked the Divine for help and inspiration.

In short, we used Audacity to record interviews with ourselves ! Keke FINALLY! We are allowing things to be a lot more fun and spacious ! This is what we really have been asking for. More ease. More joy. More fun. More glory. More space and expansiveness in our lives and in our business! And the Divine has answered ! How does it get even better than this? What else is possible?

So here is the transcript to my interview with Sueyan...

So welcome everyone today, to the prosperity sisters live radio show. We are very excited today because our special guest for today is Sueyan Lim Shuyan, the co-author of the book called "I Am Divine, So Are You!"

Thank you so much, Sueyan, for being here today. Reading this book, "I Am Divine, So Are You!" I felt so inspired by your message. It made me realize that there is something much more to being who I am right now. So can you share with us, where you received the inspiration to create this book?

I think you read the book, and you felt very inspired from it, which means Divine energy really touched you and created a spark that resonated with you. Which is why you feel very inspired by hearing this message, and the reason why we came up with this book is because we wanted to share our journey with other people about how we learnt to use the divine energies and how all of us are equally available to make use of the divine.

Because in the beginning, we learnt a lot from many other teachers. And they spoke about this Divine energy. And in the beginning, it was very confusing because it felt like this very strange, unattainable goal, that you had to be special, in order to make use of it. But then, over time, we realized that all of us are divine and being able to learn how to tap into divine energy and to use the natural laws of the universe to create what we desire and what we want to achieve, is a much more easy way, and much more fun. And more inspiring way of achieving your dreams.

What was it like before you started on this journey?

Before I started on this journey, because I didn't know any better, I thought life was really great. In fact, when I started to get in touch with Divine energies, things even got slightly harder in the beginning. It felt like I'd opened up a new can of worms. There were new challenges and new things to look at... and new ways of looking at things. And it didn't necessarily make my life easier or make any of my problems go away. But it gave me a lot of new tools to handle the different challenges in my life. And gave it an easier, more constructive way of handling the issues I had, as compared to using my mind to try and battle with myself. In order to overcome those challenges.

So what I'm hearing from you is that even when you are connected to Divine energy, even when you recognize you are a divine being, you still have all these challenges in life. Am I right to say that?

I think we come here to this Universe to experience all sorts of experiences. And that's what makes life fun... to have different emotions. Different challenges in life and learning how to overcome those challenges and to be triumphant, have a good time and learn how to feel better along the way through certain situations. Like learn how to deal with hurt and trauma in better ways, that are more helpful and loving to yourself.

So I don't really think it's like a quickfix. Like we don't actually come here to receive any form of quick fix. It's not like you suddenly transform into this super perfect being. We still continue to be on a journey of learning more about ourselves and learning more about how to love ourselves, and feel good, no matter what sort of obstacles pop up along the way.

So what would you say are the benefits of recognizing you are a divine being?

The benefits are really to open yourself up to much, much more possibilities in your life. To know you  are not confined to your background, or your past experiences. But to know that because you are connected to the Divine, you are an infinite being that can surpass all your limitations and go past whatever expectations that you have about the life you are meant to live. Really create something that you want. Something you feel very satisfied with.

Are you saying when you recognize you are a divine being, it gives you the energy to overcome any seeming obstacles that you thought you might have had in the past...?

Yes. I think a lot of people get into the habit of giving up halfway because they feel that it's too challenging... getting stuck in a lot of limitations... and limited ideas about they can achieve, what they can do, who they can be. And by really opening yourself up to divine energy and allowing yourself to be an infinite being, it can help you to be more aware and really give yourself this confidence and knowledge that it is possible. And not just resolve to your seeming fate.

You become willing to accept that fate is something for you to create. It's not a pattern that you're going to go down. It's not just a straight road... that as you keep walking, you can make choices to turn, to make your path smoother.

So this thing that you said about giving up, are you speaking from personal experience? How have you used divine energy to stop yourself from giving up?

Before I started on this journey, my instincts were : if things get too difficult, or too challenging, then I would think "Oh it's not meant to be. It's not fated. Things are too hard. I should just give up now and try something else which is easier, and I'll be more likely to succeed."

But then once I started to learn that I am divine, I learnt that if I don't overcome the challenges in this situation, or in this experience, then even if I decide to move onto something else, then these same challenges will arise again and again if I don't go and face them.

So are you saying that in the past, you might have had certain desires that you chose to give up on, and now you've made a new decision about that?

Yes. Previously, I wanted to pursue a career as an athlete - be a professional golfer. And I think not knowing how to tap into divine energy really hindered me. And even caused me to feel very depressed because I wasn't aware of what I could do to feel better about it. Or how to make my situation easier for myself.

I was trying to solve everything on my own. Figure out my own solutions. Thinking that I had to do everything on my own. But when I really opened myself up to tune into divine wisdom, I learnt that it actually didn't need to be so hard. That there could have been an easier way for me to achieve those goals.

So does it mean now in your business, that you feel very blessed and gifted by the Divine?

In business, sometimes, you never really know what is the best decision to make. And there are endless possibilities. There are so many ways of going about doing business; So many successful businesses have very different ways of achieving their success. It could be MacDonalds, or Apple, and it's very different types of business models. Very different markets that you are in.

And I really learnt that by listening in to the Divine, it becomes much easier and much clearer. When you tune into some of these more divine energies that can help you feel more clear about your business. And really listening into the finer, subtle intuitions that you get.

As compared to without being tuned into divine energy, it's easy to get very lost in all the different possibilities and options that you have, without having the stabilization of being in touch with your divine self. It's easy to get very confused and not be able to get centred back onto a task.

So what I hear is that without the guidance of Divine, then you actually end up doing your best to follow other people's models of success, rather than doing your best to carve out your own model of success... something that works uniquely for yourself... Am I right to say that?


So what's your experience like? Give us an example of how you use the divine to run your business?

We use many different forms of using the divine to make decisions in our business. One of the ways we do our best to stay connected to Divine energy is to set our intention. We ask divine source energy to help us, and be with us. In any of our meetings or to help us make decisions. Things become much clearer when both people set the intention to use divine energy together.

And it makes it much easier to come to a resolution, or decision, especially when there are two people involved.

But that just sounds like your imagination! And how do you trust that the inspiration or the thoughts  that you are receiving are from the Divine, and not from some other unholy entity or something?

In some ways, I think that Divine energy can really seem like your imagination. And often, maybe it even is, because it often sounds like you are talking to yourself in your own head, right?

And sometimes if you doubt that the message comes from some other unholy source, you can ask yourself whether this message feels good to you or not. If the message feels like it's a weird kind of energy, and you don't trust it, then it's likely that you are right. Because using divine energy is a lot about getting in tune with your own body, your own emotions, your own intuition about certain things.

So if you really feel that things are not right, then, you can follow through on this hunch that this information is not coming from a good source. If the message comes from Divine Energy, it always comes with a loving voice. It always comes with a positive message. And will always give you the feeling of being uplifted. And that's how you usually tell that you're speaking with Divine energy, and you're using divine energy to get the wisdom

But have you ever received messages from an energy that is not divine energy? Something that you perceive is not divine energy?

For me, I feel that at times when I feel very impatient, then the voice that speaks back to me is usually from my own head. When I'm stuck in a not so good feeling place that I am. Like maybe anger, resentment or fear or sadness. And then without taking myself out of the situation, I stay too caught up in my emotions and I start to have this sort of chatter, a conversation in my head which I think is the divine, but it actually ends up to be myself scolding myself...

So the critical voice, or the monkey mind, as some people call it...


So are you saying in order to connect with the Divine, you need to be in a certain kind of space. Like are there certain rituals that you need to do?

For me, I think it doesn't have to be so complicated to get in touch with divine energy. But maybe for some people, in the beginning, for people who are not so in tune or able to sense energy or able to feel the different feelings in your body, then, my suggestion is to be in a quiet space, be comfortable. And sit and meditate for a while.

But I think if you have been doing it for awhile, as long as you are open to getting in touch with the divine energy, usually just taking a few deep breaths will help you to clear your mind. Just taking 5 deep breaths, which is something we usually do... will make us much more connected to the Divine energy.

So just taking 5 deep breaths? It's just that simple?

Yes. It is that simple. Some people think that it must be very complicated. That you need to do a ritual, have a bath. Really, it's just about making sure you feel comfortable.

If you feel you need to tidy up the place, then you can do that. If you want to wash your hands, do it. Just do something that makes you feel much more comfortable, more relaxed. After that, just take 5 deep breaths and make sure that you consciously try to get more relaxed. And that will help you get more in touch with Divine Energy.

You talked about getting in touch with your intuition. What is this thing about intuition?

Intuition is related to certain sparks or inspiration that you have certain thoughts that come to mind. Sometimes, we feel they are just too random. Certain things are too random. They pop into your head and it's like... where did that thought even come from?

They may be subtle messages. It may seem very random but it's a response that just comes up. Somebody says something and you have this response. That's your intuition.

Is the Divine also intuition?

I've learnt that when it comes to intuition, your intuition is very much linked to the divine. When it comes from your intuition, it always comes out as a positive message. It's different from being psychic.

If there's any message that you want to share with our listeners, what would that be?

We are all special. We all are divine beings. And everybody can definitely learn how to get more in tune with their divine energies. And use them to have an easier and more fun life!

How To Be Easily Amused Class on 11 Nov 2011

Announcing Our Latest Upcoming Class :
How To Be Easily Amused 

by Prosperity Sisters (Sueyan Lim Shuyan & Rachel Lim Shuling)

11 November 2011
12.30pm - 1.30pm, Singapore Time
Location : 37 Taman Permata, Singapore 575160
Fee : SGD $11

What you will learn during this class :
  • How to return to your childlike innocence
  • How to laugh more freely
  • Simple exercises/activities you can use daily to feel happier in any moment
What you need to bring :
  1. An open mind
  2. A sense of adventure
  3. Willingness to laugh - a lot aloud
  4. Willingness to be silly and embarrass yourself
  5. A mirror - compact/handheld
How To Sign Up For This Class :
Email your Name & Contact Number to
Payment in cash when you arrive.

Thank you! See you soon!

Prosperity Sisters

Monday, November 7, 2011

Rachel Lim Shuling's Love And Confessions

Sueyan and I have been doing our best to follow our hearts and go where it leads us. While it sometimes sounds like an easy thing to do, yet, it can be extremely challenging other times.

Sueyan has been diligently and lovingly writing and crafting excellent relationship advice for young women articles. And I genuinely applaud, celebrate and congratulate that she is doing it. Her articles are really extremely good... but you have to read and decide whether for yourself :

I am extremely proud of my sister. Now, I am wondering what it will take for me to be as proud of me and myself?

Why am I saying all this? The reason I say this on our blog today, is because I feel we all can benefit with a whole lot more of love and honesty in our lives.

I've been through many periods in my life, when all I wanted to do was to just focus on the good and positive. While I agree that there are many benefits to this... For example, what you focus on expands, I have also discovered, through experience, that choosing to ignore the seemingly not-so-beautiful and even a little disgusting bits, can be extremely torturous to my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being and health !

So, I am doing my best to display honesty with/in what I write. And today, I feel like coming out of the closet and spilling my guts about the pains and struggles I been having in my life. Hopefully, the act of just admitting and owning up to it releases a whole ton of energy... which can help propel the business that Sueyan and I have and are striving to let/allow to become successful.

What else can I do but to leave it to the Divine? I love, appreciate, and accept that my ego truly does not have/know it all. I love, appreciate, accept and admit that my ego is actually very, extremely, largely ignorant. I love, appreciate, love and accept that there is something in/out of me that/who knows much better than I do. So I am willing to physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually let go of my pride. To allow the Divine to help me get to where I would like to go. Oh dear Divine, please help me. Please help me go to where I would like to go. Thank you. I love you.