disappointment
failure
what's the point
easier not to be alive
why does it have to be so hard
how are you feeling?
very calm
(more releasing statements)
what do you feel now?
(silence)
how does your body feel?
shooting
a lot of shooting cannons and explosions
i got shot.
on the right.
a naval battle
was this more than 10 lifetimes ago?
yes
more 20 lifetimes ago?
yes
more than 30 lifetimes ago?
no
more than 25 lifetimes ago?
yes
more than 27 lifetimes ago?
yes
more than 28 lifetimes ago?
dying
what is this naval battle about?
do you know what you are fighting for?
they pick me up from one of the islands where they buy fuel and provisions
willingly went for the battle?
no
seems like accidentally stuck on the ship
to deliver the cargo
carry the rice, the big heavy gunny sack
i was quite happy on the island, i have a wife.
how did you feel about being stuck on the ship?
no choice lor.
how did you discover you got stuck on the ship?
i was carrying the rice down to the bottom of the ship.
and then what happened?
i fell asleep.
why did you fall asleep?
trying to be lazy and hide there for a while
thought that maybe i can hide there and then it will seem i am doing work, but actually i'm not.
how am i supposed to know when i wake up, they left the dock.
then what happened?
i went up onboard and realized we're already in the ocean.
how did you feel?
shit ah. oh - oh. now what do i do?
didn't panick.
what happened next?
i went to find the man in charge to tell him i lied to him saying i was organizing all their different goods.
and then what happened?
he told me too bad. they're not going to turn back to just drop me off.
so i just have to stay on the board. just have to follow them.
how did you feel about that?
quite emotionless. because feel very sian. feel it's hopeless. that it's pointless to try.
that it's all your fault. somemore who fell asleep? and i was trying to be lazy.
so it's either i stay onboard or jump-off.
maybe if i jump off, will i be able to survive?
so what did you choose?
choose to stay on board and try to make the best of it.
what happened next?
cleaner to scrub the deck.
how was that?
very tiring. even more tiring than when i had to carry those big heavy sacks of grain. at least when i was working there, i wasn't this tired. now i'm even more tired. it's not like there's anywhere i can run and hide.
it's not like i can go anywhere else.
lonely life. at least i have food to eat.
there are other cleaners. my friend is a cook. but the cook has his wife on the ship and they both cook.
i feel so bored.
nothing much to do. just clean, clean, clean.
how did the battle start?
another ship came close by. must be pirates.
i was cleaning, brushing the floor. so boring.
started firing the cannons at each other.
quite stupid, never run away.
why?
cause the logical place to run would be under the deck. but it's already flooding with water.
tried to find somewhere to hide. but there isn't any place to hide.
but there is but i just don't know any secret hiding place.
but it's quite silly because i clean the whole ship but still didn't find any secret hiding places.
felt i was living a very meaningless life anyway.
now, come to think of it, it could have been more meaningful.
some pirates come onboard.
and i got shot. not on purpose.
how did you know you were not going to see your family for a few years.
because it's a battle ship and they travel from port to port.
resolved to my fate of being stuck on this ship now.
i'm a very simple man. and don't really think so much.
you can be more creative.
you can think ways to live a better, more fulfilling life.
you can choose to create a more interesting life for yourself.
see yourself saying to that guy. and how does he respond?
ha! i never thought about it.
i didn't know that is something that i can do.
are you sure that that is the best choice for you?
are you living in integrity by doing that?
life was already so meaningless before this.
i don't see any difference.
the root of life being/feeling so meaningless.
more than 30, 40, 50, 500 lifetimes ago.
what do you see?
you are blue. in the underwater. civilisation. male.
what are you doing?
swimming around.
quite young, like 20 plus.
and how are you feeling?
story is now i am alone, swimming quite happily.
i get home and my whole family is dead.
got killed. how?
because i have some sort of power that somebody wants.
they want me to go and work for them so they kill my whole family.
how big is your family?
10 people. even have young kids.
mummy is there.
how did you feel?
i feel that my life has lost all meaning.
shocked.
lost.
confused.
feels like i want answers.
not angry.
at that time, the government is very powerful, we have to listen to them.
so if it's something the government did, i have to accept it.
a programming from the government that everything that the government does is for your highest good.
and even if it's to kill your whole family, it's for your highest good, so you believed them.
same place previously when i was in the previous releasing session when my body was taken over by dark forces. keep having these two memories. same place. different lifetime or i'm a different person. or could be the same person but now i'm younger.
the feeling that when i got home, i just decided not to deal with the situation.
and to try and see what i can do after this.
like there isn't really much point in being angry, or upset or take revenge
because they are already dead. and it's not like i can fight the government.
so it's this decision to make do.
why is my reaction like that?
how does the government program you?
from a young age, the government came up with a system to program us.
to feel we should not be angry.
we must settle and accept whatever that happens to us.
i release all programs ...
in the astral, all dimensions and planes, and in the output, now.
so it is.
but seems like the power is very strong.
it's since young and so defenceless against these things they tell us.
just assume that it is correct.
and the things that they tell you when you are young is so much harder to remove.
so go back to the time before the government started programming you.
my mother will read me story books and teach me things.
then play at home with my sisters and brothers.
life was very peaceful and happy.
so hard to think... and then.
think there's a government scheme.
we have to go to a center.
we go there to nap.
when we are napping, they are playing all their talking.
so these messages will go into your head and wooo...
subliminal messages.
how to resist and fight back when they are using such tactics.
all the subliminal messages i received when i was blue person asleep more than 500 lifetimes ago, in an underwater civilisation, i uncreate and destroy. right, wrong, good, bad, poc, pod, all 9, shorts, boys and beyonds.
when i was 6,
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