secrets and betrayal, driving force to read about new age/ spiritual material
what do you see?
I'm not sure what I see but my left finger is doing my usual left finger thing. They tend to be more stiff than my right fingers. Especially the index finger and middle finger. It is funny that my left thumb is more flexible than my right thumb.
What is happening to your left fingers?
Keep flicking it ?
What are you trying to flick ?
It's something to do with magic.
Are you doing magic now?
Yes
Is it a spell or trick ?
Spell
What spell are you trying to do ?
Germinate plants and seeds
Do you often do that?
I do it at the start of spring.
Why do you need to germinate plants and seeds ?
I am a witch and the covenant sends people out every year to help the plants to grow. It is the duty to the village.
Where are you now ?
Under a tree at a field. There is a big stone-ish house. There is a road with a brown wooden fence. A very English kind of road
How old are you?
19
How many lifetimes ago?
7
How did you feel being a witch?
Quite proud and happy also. I am a kind witch.
Are your whole family witches?
Yes. They all practice magic.
Are you alone?
I have to go alone I guess.
How long is the assignment?
For as long as it takes, then I will go back to the church or covenant.
I am thinking of the word sacrifice again.
Are you older now?
Yes. Around 25. Is it a sacrifice or play? I don't know it's a very bizarre kind of thing. Somebody wearing a white cloth. We are standing and watching it. It is on a raised platform. It is very dramatic. We are all wearing black but the platform is all white.
Is it a festival or celebration?
No. It is an event then like we are all black black. Trying to say that we are the dark forces and that the white forces are bad. That they will try to come and consume you. It is not said but being performed as a play for you to perceive the message that they want to send to you. There is a sense of fear of the light that it will consume your soul and eat your heart. It is quite scary actually. Feels like, seems like the people around me believe this but i'm not sure that i believe this.
Was there an incident where you experienced that the light forces were not all that bad?
Things about good witch, bad witch. Here in the covenant we are supposed to be sisters, take care of each other, love and respect each other. Yet within ourselves there are people who are not like that. It makes me question things. I don't understand. Here in the covenant, there are alot of secrets i think. There's lots of secrets, can tell that there are secrets. I don't know what the secrets are, and at the same time let them keep their secrets. It is creepy that on one hand they tell you all the good things, yet they keep these secrets. What do they fear? Their behaviour is so fearful by keeping these secrets.
There are all these secrets between each other in the different factions. Teachers pets will spend extra time together to have extra lessons with the teachers. Don't feel like asking and don't feel safe to ask.
What do your parents say about this?
They have their own secrets. How do you ask somebody about their secrets when they want to keep their own secrets. People who keep secrets have their own logic about why they keep secrets. Everytime I ask people about secrets, they don't give a real answer. It is more like a riddle. I don't get answer. If i say that, they will tell me to learn more and meditate. Everything is so unclear.
What do you do about these secrets?
My mother and I are not from the same covenant. The covenant is very spiritual. The way you get into the covenant is a very sacred way. They will come and ask you to join them. They know who you are and want you to join. You don't go looking for covenants to join. My mother and father are not part of the same covenant. My brother is from the same covenant. We don't study together because he is a male. Since he joined, he became very secretive and different.
Why don't they let me know these secrets? Am I not trustworthy? Am i not good enough to receive the information? Is it because it is dangerous for me to know these secrets?
Maybe we should go back to the root. 7 lifetimes doesn't seem long enough.
Lets go back to the root of when you first thought that everyone was keeping secrets from you. When they kept secrets from you for whatever reason.
What do you see?
A woman howling that someone has betrayed her. I am little girl and feel very stressed and worried that she looks so berzerk and like its the end of the world. Feel that it must be so scary to have secrets and to have your secrets betrayed. Feel like never ever want to keep secrets and be betrayed because of them.
I am so small and tiny. I look at her in shock and horror. Who is this woman and why is it so scary. It must be the most horrible thing in the world to be betrayed. She screamed like an animal.
67 lifetimes ago.
Before this i was running on the streets, just exploring. Suddenly encounter this woman on the street, this scene..Feel very shocked.
I release my shock when seeing other people's outburst of emotion.
I release my shock when i was a little girl 67 lifetimes ago running in the street and saw the woman screaming like an animal.
I release all decisions beliefs and programming to never betray another person's secrets for fear that they will go crazy and be destroyed.
I release to hold on so tightly to that decision to never betray another person's secrets.
I just got out of prison and the light looks very bright to me.
Why did you go to prison?
For betraying somebody. My employer. He is a baker and I revealed his recipe. He lost money and his business had to close down. I was only 15 or 16 years old.
Why did you reveal his recipe?
By accident. The baker really trusts me and he teaches me how to bake the bread. I work very hard to practice and openly make the bread. I am unaware that other people may try to steal the recipe. An unusual person entered the shop, praised me for being pretty, smart and able to make the bread. ' I want to see you make the bread, you must look so ravishing and beautiful when you make the bread'.
I was very gullible and excitedly made the bread for him.
He must have remembered the recipe. Suddenly other people start making this bread. He got very angry and didn't even suspect me. But i thought that it should be me, all my fault and that i should pay and be punished.
I decided to tell my master and he was so angry he called the police and put me in jail. I felt so guilty. Feel very stupid for letting someone else make use of me to get my master's recipe. feel stupid for not checking and asking. Feel so dumb and stupid, and don't ever deserve to be trusted again. Feel that i should be punished forever and never forgiven. Feel as if i was very ungrateful, that i must be very very bad. For him to trust me so much and that so many bad things happened to him and his family because of me. Feel should never be forgiven and be punished forever.
Feel the baker might be Papa.
All feelings of guilt and shame,
I release all decisions to store feelings in my back and lower back trying to punish myself for eternity in the astral, astral life, all dimensions and planes and in the output.
I release all decisions to never open my heart in fear of betraying somebody else's trust.
I open myself now in the astral, astral life, all dimensions and planes, to see that when i know better i do better, so it is. And i open myself to forgive myself for whatever mistakes I perceive to have ever made in the astral, astral life, all planes and dimensions and in the output.
I release to store all the feelings of betrayals in any of the organs in my body. I also release all the feelings of betrayal that are stored in the various organs in my body from all the lifetimes starting from the 67th lifetime ago. I release now in the astral, the astral life, all planes and dimensions and in the output. So it is.
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